


Each Milestone Brings Us a Step Closer to Death: A Wedding Story

by jackycomelately



Category: Addams Family (TV 1964), Boy Meets World
Genre: Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 19:36:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackycomelately/pseuds/jackycomelately
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A peek into the wedding of Stuart Minkus and Wednesday Addams. <i>Boy Meets World</i> joins <i>The Addams Family</i>. </p>
<p>Warnings for general gruesomeness consistent with the canon of the Addams Family (including a reference to animal harm toward cats/dogs), hints of consensual D/s and a passing reference to a Native American stereotype.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Each Milestone Brings Us a Step Closer to Death: A Wedding Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nikkiscarlet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikkiscarlet/gifts).



> Dear nikkiscarlet, I hope you meant it when you said you liked crossovers!
> 
> My deepest gratitude to [**rusty_armour**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/rusty_armour) for all her help. Any errors, I introduced after the beta process (I'm a fiddler!). She is the best beta ever!

Text Version:

MR. AND MRS. GOMEZ ADDAMS

REQUEST THE HONOUR OF YOUR PRESENCE

AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR DAUGHTER

Wednesday Friday Addams

TO 

Mr. Stuart Minkus

SON OF MR. AND MRS. TOM MINKUS

SATURDAY, THE TWENTY-FIRST OF JUNE

TWO THOUSAND AND FOUR

MIDNIGHT

AT 0001 CEMETERY LANE

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

FOR EACH MILESTONE BRINGS US CLOSER TO DEATH

RECEPTION TO FOLLOW

  
  


_Stuart Minkus Then:_

__

Text Description: Minkus at ten or so, looking particularly nerdy and smug with an elaborate water machine gun.

_Stuart Minkus Now:_

__

_Text Description: Minkus in his early twenties, hands in pocket, still looking devilish, but also hot._  
  
  
  


She said yes! He couldn’t believe she said yes! Why would she say yes? 

  
  


__+               +               +_ _

  
  


The invitation arrived on a Tuesday. In retrospect, Cory felt he should have sensed a disturbance in the Force. There should have been the deep bass of menacing music. Something to warn him of the horrors to come.

(04:25:46 PM) iamtheecory: Did you get the invite from Minkus?

(04:25:47 PM) justshawn: Yeah. You and t going?

(04:25:49 PM) iamtheecory: Definitely. I've got to meet this girl.

(04:25:53 PM) iamtheecory:  Do you think Feeny is going to be there?

 

__+               +               +_ _

 

Topanga, Cory and Shawn arrived at the Addams’ mansion on a particularly beautiful day. Topanga had insisted on accepting the Addams’ invitation to stay with them before the wedding, despite being locals themselves.

“Stuart asked for our support. His family couldn’t make it from Germany. He should at least have a few friends to help out.”

Cory and Shawn exchanged looks.                                                     

“Uh-huh,” Shawn said.

“I just hope they’re not weird,” Cory said. “I mean what kind of parents name their kid Wednes…” He broke off at the glare from Topanga.

“Right,” Shawn sniggered. “Cornelius.”

“Okay, that just proves my point. All of our parents are freaks.”

“He’s kind of got us there,” Shawn admitted.

Topanga laughed. “Well, I’m really looking forward to meeting Wednesday. She must be a very special person.”

“Uh-huh,” Cory said.

The outside of the house was… interesting. It looked like a condemned house. A haunted condemned house. Even Topanga had to admit that. That was nothing to what was behind door number one, however.

“You’re not going to eat us, are you?” Cory asked. The dude was impressively big. And grey. Not just his hair, but his face. Cory had to resist the urge to hide behind Topanga. She was the one who knew martial arts after all.

Shawn looked to Cory like he was in awe.

“Dude!” Shawn said. “I am in awe!”

Could Cory read him or what?

Topanga covered her face with her hands. “I will not apologize for them. I will not apologize…” She broke. “I’m terribly terribly sorry. We’re friends of Stuart’s and here for the wedding.”

The man grunted. “Lurch,” he added in the deepest voice Topanga had ever heard. He gestured at them to follow and led them through the huge entrance into an immense room that deserved the name great hall. Two people rose at their arrival.

“Ah, guests!” the man boomed. He wore a retro-looking suit with spats.

“How lovely,” the woman said. She was elegantly dressed in a form-fitting black dress that emphasized her beautifully pale face. She held her hands out in welcome.

Topanga took them with relief.

“Call me Gomez,” the man said. “This is my cruelly gorgeous wife Morticia.”

“He’s so sweet,” Morticia murmured. “Even after all these years.”

Topanga blinked hard. “This is my husband Cory, our friend Shawn and I’m Topanga.”

“What a lovely name, dear: where the mountain meets the sea. We met a Topanga once. Gomez, wasn’t that the name of that very clever woman who taught Wednesday about scalping?”*

“I believe so, I believe so. A most knowledgeable young woman. Knew a great deal about poisons too. So many of the old skills are being lost these days. Such a tragedy.” Gomez waved toward a partially opened set of French doors. “The children are in the garden. Dreadful weather, but that never stopped young love.”

Morticia smiled kindly at them. “Do join them if you don’t mind the sunshine, and we’ll ask Lurch to bring out some refreshments.”

They all trooped out to the garden toward the sound of voices.

 

__+               +               +_ _

_"_ Mother said she would play her shmisen.** Would you prefer the one made with cat skin or the one with dog?"

“What’s your favourite?”

“The cat skin one is clearly the superior instrument, but I must confess to some sentimental attachment to… and we have guests.”

The willowy young woman stood up. She had inherited her mother’s pale beauty and raven hair. Her voice, Topanga noticed, was a little flatter and less expressive. Stuart had been sitting at her feet. Topanga felt a vague discomfort. There was something naked about Stuart's expression.

“Wow,” Cory said. “You’ve gotten tall!”

Topanga agreed. He was at least 5’ 10”.

“Topanga! You look wonderful!”

“It’s so good to see you, Stuart!”  Topanga embraced him warmly. He looked good. Taller, broader, less secretly miserable.

Cory patted his shoulder awkwardly.

“This is my fiancé Wednesday. Wednesday, these are the friends I told you about: Topanga, Shawn and Cory.”

Shawn nodded and said cheerfully, “You finally got a woman to take you seriously, Minkus. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Shawn.” 

“But when you get married, she's going to find out what you’re really like, huh, Minkus?”

Stuart flinched, almost imperceptibly.

Shawn frowned. “Just a joke, dude. Happily ever after all the way, I’m sure. No divorce courts in your future.”

Gomez and Morticia entered the garden with Lurch and refreshments.

“There has never been a divorce in the Addams family,” Gomez said.

“No, dear,” Morticia agreed.

“Several suspicious deaths, mind you!” Gomez boomed.

“Yes, but I'm proud to say that nothing was ever proven,”  Morticia said.

“It pays to hire the best,” Gomez said.

“And, of course, Gomez is a lawyer. So nice to have one in the family.” Morticia patted his cheek.

Wednesday looked at Stuart.

He met her eyes steadily.

“That's comforting,” Stuart said.

“Yes, indeed. What's the point of marrying a woman if you’re not willing to die for her, huh, Stuart?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Call me father.”

“I always think divorce is so cruel. So impersonal. You really should be willing to risk the death penalty if you are going to dissolve a marriage,” Morticia said.

 

_+               +               +  
_

After a few painful hours making polite conversation, they were finally alone again.

“What’s the matter, Stuart? Are you having second thoughts?”

“God, no, but we’ve only been dating for a short time. I’m afraid Shawn’s right. Once you get to know me better, you won’t like what you find.”

“Homer the 11th*** would enjoy meeting Shawn.”

“I’m awful clingy. It turns people off. They like me being intense about them at first, but they get tired of it fast.”

“My parents have never spent a day apart since they got married. My father never went out to work. He worships my mother. He’ll do anything for her. I consider that normal.”

Stuart dropped to his knees in front of her. The faintest trace of an expression crossed Wednesday's face.

“Promise me you'll never divorce me.”

“No, I'm old-fashioned. I'll murder you.”

“God, kiss me.”

 

__+               +               +_ _

On their wedding day, Stuart tugged down his sleeves and said, “Can you see the marks?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

__+               +               +_ _

 

“Stuart seems like a fine fellow. I think he'll make our Wednesday very happy.”

“So rare to see a young man really willing to crawl for love. Do you remember?”

“Well, it was just last night,” Gomez said with a wicked grin. “Can I crawl again tonight?”

Footnotes:

*The Topanga they met doesn't self-identify as Native American. (She was abandoned as a child so she really has no idea—she figures that gives her license to make up whatever she wants). She's a con artist, which the entire family is aware of (one of the reasons they think she's clever). She is tremendously and scarily knowledgeable about both scalping and poisons. Shawn meets her at the wedding, (Wednesday makes a point of introducing them), and they are now dating. You really don't want to even playfully insult Stuart where Wednesday can hear you. Cory, needless to say, is freaked about the same name thing. Shawn is, at heart, a very non-judgmental person, so it's actually working out so far.

** A three string instrument that Morticia played in the original series. Apparently, in a very high quality one, you can make out the position of the nipples of the cat.

*** Her pet black widow spider from the original series is named Homer.


End file.
